Suddenly Single - A practical strategy

A couple of years ago I was suddenly single. The heartbreak was awful.

There was one unexpected source of pain. I realised that the person I told my 'boring' stuff to, was my partner and there was apparently quite a lot of it! You know the sort of thing: 'Guess who I saw at the shopping centre...". "And I just couldn't decide between the red and the blue...". "I have finished my book."

My Mum put this more beautifully. She said "Your Dad is the person I call when I am washing up and notice a lovely sunset. He comes over and we stand for a moment and enjoy it together."

When I found myself suddenly single, I was surprised how much pain was triggered by this lack of a person to share those unimportant moments.

My strategy for dealing with this was to start a journal where I wrote all this stuff down. It definitely helped me and I discovered I loved journalling and have kept it up for years now. Even better, I have since discovered is good for me anyway!

Surfing Emotions

'Emotions have a natural life span. like a wave, they surge, crest, and then recede.

If you have a tendency to avoid painful feelings, trying to numb out or somehow shut off the hurt, you may not appreciate that painful emotions have a limited life span. As pain wells up, you may cut it off before seeing that there is a crest, and beyond it a downward slope. You may not know that even the worst emotions subside - naturally and spontaneously.
Try sticking with an emotion and watching it to see how this works. With time you will learn something about how long they last, and how they morph and soften over time.' from p153 'Your Life on Purpose

Actions v Intentions

'Remember people will judge you by your actions not your intentions.
You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg'
Navjot Singh Sidhu