Dating Over 40

I need to preface this post with

1. A clear statement that I am not advocating that all single people over 40 should be looking for a partner, and, 

 2. An apology for the title of the book I am going to draw on - 'Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others'- the premise behind this book and it's title are just awful - however it does contain some really interesting ideas that I haven't come across elsewhere.
3. A request that you hold the information in this post lightly.  This information is based on extensive market research by John Molloy - which is different to peer reviewed research.

Molloy and his colleagues interviewed couples as they left the Marriage Registry Office.  Some of his findings in the chapter on 'Dating over 40' are particularly interesting.  I think they may apply equally to women and men - so I have adapted it accordingly. 

Molloy states:

The more  potential partners you meet, the more likely you are to meet someone who suits you. (Okay, so that one isn't exactly rocket science!)

Men and women over 40 are more interested in a partner who ‘looks after themselves’ than physical attractiveness.

Being congenial, easy to get on with, relaxed, kind and showing you care about your partner are highly valued. 

The over 40's aren't interested in subtle, hard to read messages from potential partners, they like people to express their feelings clearly.
People over 40 are often ‘gun shy’ because they have been hurt in previous relationships. So, they may be wary, perhaps even cynical.  If you really like someone, you need to clearly tell them and be prepared to repeat the message over and over. (However, don't stalk them! If they tell you clearly they aren't interested, accept it!)

Previous experiences of rejection and disappointment mean that people are often very stressed during dates - they will need a few dates before they relax and are able to be themselves – so it is wise to take a little longer before making a decision about someone than you would have done when you were 20.

Clubs and activities can be a great place to meet other singles but don't keep moving from one activity to another – once you find a group/activity you like, try to go regularly – it takes months to build relationships.

Have single friends of the opposite gender.

Although it is true that older men do tend to date younger women, they actually tend to marry women close to them in age, who have similar values and interests.


I would be really interested in hearing your comments on this - does this fit with your experience?