When you are single, you get a lot of well meaning people telling you what you should do. A common piece of advice is – 'You need to get comfortable being alone before you start dating again'.
When I am single, I completely ignore this advice. I do a lot of dating. I fall in and out of lust and love. I am on an emotional roller coaster. I love the opportunity to test drive lots of different potential partners. And I know that, for some people, that approach would be neither helpful nor healthy.
What I have come to is this – you can do the same activity for completely different reasons. Rather than relying on others to tell you if it is right or wrong (assuming it is legal!) instead ask yourself the question:
Is doing this moving me towards the life I want, a life that is rich and meaningful, or, am I running away from painful thoughts and feelings?
On 22 August I am running a workshop (with the wonderful Joan Wilson-Jones) at The Relaxation Centre of Queensland titled 'Life, Love and Laughter when Single and Over 40'. If you are interested in coming along, call them on 07 3856 3733.
I love this post Rachel. I'm completely the same. I love meeting new people and I love ignoring advice when I think it sounds like it may work for that person but not for me.
ReplyDeleteI also try and make some connections between recruitment and dating, I think there is some unusual but interesting learnings in that...
Hi Daniel,
ReplyDeletePeople do love to give advice - and sometimes it just isn't really helpful.
I do think we could apply strategies from recruitment very successfully to dating!