So how can you make the best of yourself?
- Be kind and likeable - according to David Sloan Wilson (and common sense!) we find people we like, more attractive. If you aren't sure how likeable you are, then take the free IPIP- NEO personality test and check out your score on agreeableness.
- Present yourself well - clean, well-groomed, nice hair, nice clothes, healthy weight
- Be trustworthy but not boring. If you think you might be boring then read this poem - I guarantee that if you live your life in this way, you won't be boring!
- Be happy, positive and friendly
- If you are a woman - wear your hair long and wear subtle make up
- If you are a man - go to the gym and get muscular!
Much of this post is drawn from this blog on the science of attraction.
For the first time, Rachel, I have the feeling that a text of you frames the issue in a way that disappoints me.
ReplyDeleteYou're talking about a goal that many of us surely have. And yet, I think we do well if we remain closer to the ACT-principles and ask ourselves: what is the value for us in "being attractive"?
Or: when I am attractive, how can I do things differently? What is the quality it "liberates" in me?
And then: how can I begin to embody that quality, now?
For me: it would allow me to engage more deeply, be more spontaneous and authentic, risk to be more vulnerable.
Now, how can I do that, even if "the other" doesn't find that particularly "attractive" - but can respond in an accepting way?
How can I do that, even when "nobody is watching me"?
Maarten,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for our comment that deepens my post. Making it into something meaningful. I think your point is important. When these actions are linked to values they become enlivening but when we try to be 'nice' just to 'be more attractive' it has a hollow feel to it.
I do appreciate your comment (even though I feel sad that your were disappointed) - Thank you