Responding with Curiosity

Coert Visser recently wrote a great blogpost about how solution focussed therapists respond to client 'resistance' (for example when clients make comments like 'This isn't working', 'I don't agree', 'That wouldn't work for me'). A solution focussed therapist views this 'resistance' differently to most other therapists. They see 'resistance' as an attempt by the client to make the therapy more useful and so they respond with openness and curiosity ('Tell me what it is about what I am doing that isn't working for you?').

I love this approach. It is so respectful and ultimately more effective than the approaches taken by many therapists of:

• Analysing what this 'resistance' means
• Implying that the client isn't committed to change
• Suggesting that this is a way of avoiding 'doing the work'
• Taking it personally and getting defensive!

I think that this approach of curiosity is useful in other areas of life. When my partner or co-worker or child 'resists' me - could I pause a moment, be open to the idea that they might have a point and get curious?