Mindfully Dealing with Anger

Years ago, when I was a psychiatrist, I used to treat clients for problems with anger. One of the most useful strategies I taught my clients was to get good at noticing when their anger was just starting to rise (say from 4/10 to 5/10) and at that moment to pause and decide what action would be wisest. It worked like a charm. The majority of people with anger issues often let their anger bubble up to 9/10 and then find themselves acting out their rage.


Mindfulness  can make this strategy even more powerful. Mindful responses to anger involve becoming really curious about how anger feels in your body. Getting good at noticing those early signs, knowing what 5/10 feels like for you - perhaps it is a tension in your jaw, a slight churning feeling in the stomach? Noticing what your mind does when you are feeling angry - does it rage at the injustice or tell you that it isn't important, don't make a fuss?  Mindfulness involves getting good at holding those thoughts lightly and becoming better able to have those feelings without acting them out.


And then choosing what to do next based on values. Who do I want to be in the world? What do I want my life to stand for? How would I express that in my actions in this moment now?