The place that this choice (and all the other small choices we make) comes from, makes a big difference to the quality of our life. Choices that are mainly about expressing our heart's desire about who we want to be in the world and what we want our lives to stand for, will tend to lead us in the direction of vitality and emotional well being. Choices that are mainly about avoiding social disapproval will tend to lead us towards a narrow and constricted life.
From the outside it can be hard to tell which it is. Take these two very different women:
Just looking at photos of them, we have no way of knowing whether they are expressing their values through the choices they have made about their hair or whether they are just trying to avoid social disapproval from the very different communities that they inhabit.
So if I can't tell which I am doing just by looking at my behaviour, how do I choose? Well, I can ask myself this question:
If everyone important to me approved of....(insert area of your life here - from your haircut to your choice of career) ...whatever I chose to do, what would I choose?
To explore this further, I recommend the personal values questionnaire.
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