In this article Sonja Lyubomirsky explores the 'parenthood paradox' which is that:
"Although achieving every other human motive (like satisfying thirst or hunger, gaining social status, or finding Mr. Right) makes us tremendously happy, having children appears to be the one exception. Indeed, research suggests that despite most people's widely-professed desire to have children, parenthood is associated with decreased, rather than increased, well-being. To offer just one often-cited example, working women asked to recall their previous day in excruciating detail rated taking care of their children as just slightly more positively than the unpleasant tasks of commuting and performing household chores."
She exlores how hard parenting is and how unsupported parents are in current western cultures compared to our predecessors' who lived in larger family units and tribes.
In the end she uses a quote from Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report) to sum up what is probably going on:
"...Children are a pain in the ass, I'll grant you that, but the feeling that comes with children is a feeling that is superior to happiness...a sublime feeling."
This is not just true of parenting but of many difficult and challenging endeavours. If something has deep meaning and purpose for us then, although at times it may be painful, there is a deep joy associated with it that goes beyond happiness.
