Happy Relationships

Relationships are hard.  A friend of mine said to me the other day "I just want to be someone's favourite toy, like Woody in Toy Story. The toy that is loved even though it is a bit old and grubby. The toy that he wants to have next to him when he goes to sleep at night'. I think that most of us want that.  But we often get the opposite - anger, disappointment and resentment.
So how do we make it work?
A lovely piece of research showed that the following increased satisfaction in already happy couples.
(a) loving-kindness meditation, with a particular  focus  on  one’s  partner;

(b) partner  versions  of yoga  exercises,  in  which  partners  physically  supported  and  facilitated  one another  in  the  performance  of  therapeutic,  often  pleasurable  postures;  

(c) mindful touch exercises, with each partner paying close attention to the giving and receiving of a gentle back rub, followed by discussion of the implications of this for sensual intimacy; 

(d) eye gazing with partners  acknowledging  and  welcoming  the  deep-down  goodness  in  one another; 

(e) practicing various mindfulness skills in the relationship

• application of mindfulness to both emotion-focused and problem focused approaches to relationship difficulties 
• be more  aware  during shared  pleasant  activities,  unpleasant  activities,  and stressful interactions, and to discuss and keep daily records about new understandings arising from such

If you want to read the paper it is here