Some Research On the Benefits of Mindfulness Meditation

I am soon to give a speech on mindfulness in group work at the Institute of Group Leaders Conference in Sydney, so I thought I should pull together some of the recent research on the effects of mindfulness meditation. Here is what I came up with:

http://www.springerlink.com/content/720772266xj33972/ - The effect of mindfulness meditation  on stress reduction and rumination

http://www.springerlink.com/content/n26838t52m727u13/ - The effects of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) on health and well being

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/curious/201001/what-maids-teach-us-about-physical-health-and-life-longevity-lesson-in-mindfulne - The benefits of mindfully doing housework

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2007.00032.x/full - Mindful relating in intimate relationships

http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/springer/jcogp/2006/00000020/00000002/art00003 - Mindfulness and Positive Emotion

http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/ccp/68/4/615/  - Mindfulness based CBT

http://adviceonlifeandlove.blogspot.com/2010/09/mindfulness-and-acceptance-are.html - Mindfulness, acceptance and exercise maintenance

http://adviceonlifeandlove.blogspot.com/2010/12/everyday-mindfulness-v-mindfulness.html - The benefits of every day mindfulness

http://www.webmd.com/ibs/news/20110510/mindfulness-meditation-may-cut-ibs-symptoms - Mindfulness meditation and irritable bowel syndrome

http://www.webmd.com/multiple-sclerosis/news/20100927/mindfulness-meditation-vs-multiple-sclerosis - The effects of mindfulness meditation on well-being in people living with Multiple Sclerosis

http://women.webmd.com/news/20110603/stress-reduction-technique-may-ease-hot-flashes

http://chp.sagepub.com/content/13/1/34.short - Mindfulness for adolescents with learning difficulties

http://www.jimhopper.com/pdfs/Baer2003.pdf - Excellent review of mindfulness training as a clinical intervention by Ruth Baer

Do The Next Right Thing and Let That Be Enough

"Believe deep down in your heart that you're destined to do great things” ~Joe Paterno

This quote turned up in my twitter stream yesterday. It looks benign. It looks helpful. But it is seriously problematic.

Firstly, it implies that not only is it very important to get our 'beliefs' right but also that we can chose those beliefs. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is a con. We can try really hard to brain wash ourselves. We can repeat positive affirmations over and over. But deep down in our hearts most of us carry a secret  - that we aren't good enough. That we are too...something. Too selfish, too weak, too loud, too quiet, too greedy, too boring....if you dig around inside yourself and sit with the discomfort for a moment, you will be able to add your own words.

The brainwashing of our society makes the burden of that secret even harder to bear. Because apparently what we should be doing is believing deep down in our hearts that we are destined for something great. So we have failed before we have even started.

The quote also implies that we are all destined to do great things (as long as we get our thoughts stacked up right). And this is madness. What most of us are destined for is a life of ordinariness - raising children, working for a living, loving our family and friends. I think that chasing success and greatness are actually distractions from the challenge of doing the ordinary stuff well. I suspect that we want that distraction because it is actually really hard to do that stuff well.

I think a better quote would go something like:

'Even on the days when you worry that you are a fool and a failure; be kind and compassionate.  Come back to the present moment and do the next right thing. And let that be enough.'

I am paraphrasing Kelly Wilson here: In Appreciation of Crashing, Bliss Following, Hero's Journeying, and Practice.

How about it? Will you join me in doing the next right thing and let that be enough?


(This post first appeared on my other blog: Working With ACT)

Mindful Engagement

We can so easily half engage with the people we love. We listen to the same anecdotes over and over and it is easy to become bored and impatient. But we also know that kind attention at these times is a gift and a genuine act of love.
Russ Harris suggests mindfully engaging with our loved ones. This includes, observing with openness and curiosity, as if you are seeing it for the first time:

• Your loved ones expression. See if you can trace what they are expressing with their face. Watch the movement of their lips, the lines and creases that come and go as their expression changes.
• Their body language. How do they move their arms, legs, hands, feet, body? How do they hold their body as they talk?
• The rhythm and sound of their voice. The words they use. The subtle changes in tempo and tone.

Your mind may distract you with it's stories and judgements - mindfully bring your attention back to this moment now, with this person. This person you love.

The Benefits of Planning

My grandfather wanted our family to have a motto ( I know - I am not the only member of my family who can be a little eccentric!) and (Yes it gets worse...) he wanted it to be:

'Do not falter, do not shrink. First think out your work, then work out your think'

Like most of Grandad's daft ideas - there is some sense in it. Although the 1930's chirpiness of his chosen motto is a little dated, the underlying idea that it is often a good idea to :

1. Persist in the face of difficulty
2. Make a plan, and,
3. Follow the plan

are very sound. As long as you are also open to changing the plan as new information arises.

Is it a Good Idea to Act Authentically?

Well, it depends how you define authenticity.

Authenticity can be problematic when we define it as freely expressing our thoughts and feelings. I have made this mistake many times in the past. I believed that it was wrong to hide my true feelings, that it was important for me to be 'honest' with others. The problems with this approach were:

• It involved treating my thoughts and feelings as if they were true. I have since come to realise that sometimes they don't reflect the reality of a situation!
• It meant that my thoughts and feelings had control of my behaviour.
• It meant other people had to deal with my 'stuff' - sometimes that was helpful, at others, frankly, it wasn't.

A better definition of authenticity is when:

• Behaviour, goals and values are aligned.
• Values are freely chosen rather than imposed by others. They feel like an expression of my best self. The person I really want to be. Working out authentic values can take some time. We have to cut through what we have been taught is good and proper and get to the heart of what is important to us. There are some tips on how to do this here.
• I am honest with myself about my thoughts and feelings and then choose what to communicate with others. Hiding from my own thoughts and feelings leads to behaviour that feels inauthentic.

This way of behaving is associated with a number of positive outcomes:

1. I feel like my behaviour is an expression of my true self - which feels important.
2. Mindfully noticing my thoughts and feelings and then choosing which ones to act upon provides opportunity for growth.
3. Aligning behaviour and goals with values increases motivation
4. Others are more likely to trust me if my behaviour is predictable. Choosing behaviour based on a consistent set of values leads to more consistency than being pushed around by whatever thoughts and feelings show up at any particular moment.

So, yes it is a good idea to act authentically - as long as that means acting in accordance with deeply held values.

For further reading on the research relating to authenticity:

Chapter 11, Character Strengths and Virtues by Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman

Count Your Acts of Kindness

For the next week, keep a record of the number of times you are kind to others. Otake et al (2006) found that doing this simple activity, for one week, lifted people's levels of happiness for at least a month.
They also found that people who naturally combined this activity with: doing more acts of kindness towards others and feeling more gratitude for kind acts from others towards themselves; experienced even larger increases in happiness:

Teenage Boys and Emotion

When my son was a teenager, this book was a great source of comfort and wisdom to me. In fairness to Patrick, I do have to acknowledge that he was an easy and delightful teenager who has grown into a lovely man - but this didn't seem to stop me from panicking!

Celia Lashlie spent time listening to teenage boys and discovered some useful information. Here is a quote:

'In time I came to understand that the idea of not needing to talk about some difficult or stressful situation wasn't part of a male conspiracy to keep information away from women - at least not always. Sometimes it is true that males - both adolescent boys and adult men - don't want or need to talk. They just want time to let the conflicting emotions settle until they can make some sense of them and get a grip on what they are feeling. Unlike me, they don't work out what they are feeling by talking about it - they work it out  - and then sometimes - talk about it.'