'There is no reliable way of picking a bad partner before you have been burnt a bit. The key concept is being burnt only a bit, not avoiding getting burnt at all. If you pull out of a relationship the moment you see any possibility of being hurt, you will never have anything that lasts very long. Grown up people know the perfect partner doesn't exist. You need to give someone a reasonable try, as well as a few warnings and options to change. You must give him room to express his own individuality, but if he doesn't seem capable of working out where reasonable limits lie himself, you probably won't be able to teach him'
Julian Short in 'An Intelligent Life"
Hi Rachel... 'give him room'? Gotta watch the gender specific language - there are laws in this country to protect me against this kind of stereotyping. I see you didn't pen this one. Not even my mum reckons I was perfect out of the box, fortunately for my wife, I am perfect now, just ask me how! We had a trial month of living together before I moved interstate permanently to be with her just to make sure there would be no bodies to hide later. Short term inconveniences are really hard to take when they become long term 'norms'. Most of my romantic relationships have developed from existing friendships so I have had the benefit of observing a potential partner in the wild with their guard down rather than merely from across a crowded dance floor/website. I can only add that one needs to be receptive to the feedback the partner is giving and realise people communicate in different ways and with different language. I often suggest to my wife that english is not her first language and given that fact she does ok. For the record she has been employed as a senior policy writer and was born in Victoria. Earns me daggers every time.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the helpful posts, my wife depends on them.
Charlie