Do you think you know the back of your hand? What do you think it would be like to spend 5 minutes mindfully looking at the back of your hand?
Russ Harris ran this exercise at his recent 'Happiness Trap' workshop. He has a free MP3 of it here if you want to give it a go.
As I did this activity, I discovered that I didn't know the back of my hand at all. I probably haven't really looked at my hand properly since I was a toddler. It has changed somewhat since then! And some of the miracles that fascinated me when I was tiny are still there - look at your knuckles, they are amazing!
How does this relate to relationships?
Over time, we become accustomed to the important people in our lives. We assume we know who they are. It is easy to stop really hearing or seeing them. What this activity taught me was to really work to be present and curious with the people I love. And every time I forget, I notice the back of my hand and remind myself that if I love this person then they deserve my mindful attention.
Nice one Rachel. Familiarity breeding contempt is a real relationship wounder. Why is it that we tend to treat those so close to us as if they have passed through some invisible ‘comfort zone’ - a point beyond which as you point out, we feel we know who they are. If we are honest (mindful) with ourselves, as individuals we continually change and evolve so why do we assume others do not also. People evolve and develop like the toddler hand written of to the strong capable hands the years have given you. We need to continuously adjust or critically evaluate our perceptions of others as well as ourselves… How? Mindfulness of course.
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